How many months do most relationships last?

It doesn’t matter. Unless of course, you are trying to write a research paper on relationships, in which case you really need to do your own homework.

What flavor of ice cream do most people prefer? Who cares. (Again…..unless you are doing a paper or working for Ben & Jerry)

Relationships can vary in length dramatically, from minutes to a lifetime, and do you want to know another secret? You don’t win any awards for having the longest relationship, and having a long relationship isn’t always the best option…..if the relationship is not a good one.

Yes, there is a traditional notion that you should find someone and stay with them forever, for better or for worse, even if it made you miserable. These days, many of us have figured out that sometimes it’s better to go your separate ways.

This is not me being cynical, just pragmatic. I’m also not endorsing the idea that you should just walk away from a good relationship (I’m using the word “good” for simplicity, as relationships are not good or bad, but multifaceted) just because there is tension in conflict. If you can’t deal with conflict and tension in relationships, it’s going to be a problem, because tension and conflict eventually happen in most every relationship. Relationships are complex, and take on a life or their own, and if they don’t grow, they stagnate, like most things that are dynamic.

Sometimes two people who seem ideal for one another when they meet, can grow apart, or change in ways that they did not predict, that make the relationship not so ideal. Hint: I’m using the term ideal loosely, as nothing is perfect.

Even when things are wonderful overall in a relationship, there will be times when the relationship is tested, and you will have to determine whether it’s something you want to fight for, or something that you might be better walking away from.

You asked what seemed like a simple question and got this drawn out answer, that only just touches the very surface of what a relationship is.

The point is, pick a flavor of ice cream that you like. It doesn’t matter if nobody else likes it, or if they’ve even tried it before. Only you know what is right for you, and even you will have to keep on figuring that out, because what’s right for you today, won’t necessarily be right for you next week.

To find out more about my services click here: Relationship Counseling

2019-02-06T05:26:01+00:00 February 6th, 2019|